On&On

one special entry

I love that night.

I went to Weiting's blog and I realised I was touched that I cried without knowing it.
It may only be a small paragraph, but it actually says alot.

It's a long way, from sec1 till now.
So much things changed.

I remember I was much closer with some of my team-mates during sec2, but there's a gap between me and some now, somehow I will just feel kinda uncomforable.
But it's nobody's fault, not that you all made me feel left out of what, it's my own problem.

So many people said I changed, I used to be so cheerful and high in the past, but I've become so dull now. If I were given a chance to choose again, I would want to go back. I really want to.

erm below this fat paragraph is only about me, you can skip this if you want

Coach used to say I'm childish, and just a few weeks ago, he actually told me to become more mature. Haha. I miss being childish sia. I love you as my coach, and I know how much you cared for every player. I will never forget when you drove me to hg for my first time, and you said, you believe in me. Trainings in China were mentally bad for me, cause I have to control my emotions, I hate to let you see me break down. Sometimes I really envy my team-mates who get to really train, but I could only stand one side. It's not a problem about being a main player anot, but I just want to share the sorrows, laughters, joys together with you all. When coach told me, he wanted me to played with my juniors so I won't be under pressure and I could get my confidence back, for that moment I really dont dare to look at him in the eyes. I know you want me to play well, and get back my confidence. I'msosorry. Sometimes, I get so afraid that he will also give up on me sooner or later, even doing the simple drills I will get so tense up and afraid. You won't know how glad I was inside when we were practicing our normal spikings and you corrected me and told me to try again. There were times I really feel like giving up, seeing people improving bit by bit, and I'm just stuck there. I don't know why, I lost the confidence i used to have. I can't even recall how did I used to play. Very dumb indeed.
Anyone who's reading this please don't think I'm meaning anything, it's really only my emotions and I typed all these down are actually just for wzxcoach, how thankful I am towards him.

I wasn't so upset last year, but I guess I'm like this cause this is my last year, haha.
But I'm alright okay :)

Of course I'm not that dumb to expect anyone to continue encouraging me, or put efforts on me, I dont want too, cause westzone is really near, I really hope huayi will get into top4.
So hyvb lets work hard for the little time left :)
I can see that actually yecoach is glad cause you all really did improve! ^^

I'm really alright now, don't think I'm going through an emotional period okay! ^^

To my team-mates, I really cherish everyone of you, esp those in sec3s,
cause we went through alot of things together.
kohser, jingwen, weiting, meifen, janelle, serli..
also huiming&emily (:
I will remember every memory of spending time with you girls, Bgirls'09&08,
the best teams I can ever meet.

Very soon, we are going to part, after all the competitions are over, and we will not attend trainings like how we used to, the determination of doing well and the sense of happiness of screaming together when we score and encouraging each other when anyone goes wrong.
and I'm sure I will miss my cute juniors too.

when Meifen said yy jiayou ah
when Jingwen hugged me and said 'hao qiu' when we played against yuying in school,
when Janelle reminded me to have my hand high when I spike and always telling me not to be nervous
when Weiting encouraged me that I can do it and gave me confidence when she said she's going to set balls for me
when Kohser took a step forward to console me when I was been yelled by yejiaolian during U16
when I stepped on Serli, and she said it's okay and said jiayou
when my gao xiao xing dong partner said ni ke yi de ni ke yi de
when a person named 'u know hu' tagged me and said things like I'm a weakshit, and some stand up for me, mf, jw, hx. For this, I REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE ((:
I will remember, every little thing you twits did (:

We maybe not be bestfriends, friends who can tell sorrows and secrets too,
but we will always be a team,
who share sorrows pain laughter joys scoldings together.
I really love you all,
Kohser, Jingwen, Meifen, Weiting, Janelle, Serli, Szeming, Zhiyin, Joey, Sandy, Szeting, Jessica
(:
and SICAAA! I never type your name doesn't mean I forgot you or anything!!
I really didn't forget you, and serious I do miss you really. come back next year ok! :)
and ahhh I miss Bgirls'08 too!

And lastlyyyyyyyy
tyy is still like before okay I will recover one okay :DDD

Weiting,
you remind me of BoA in this picture man lol!

You're a very special friend to me really, I feel secure&comfortable with you. Ah did I told you that mslee got facebook too? Haha but he don't have as much pictures as CK uh, HAHA! Actually it says alot when you're willingly to tell me your problems and your feelings, it just feels like there's trust in us and somemore which I'm going to type it now hehheh. I love going back after U16 with just you, cause we will start talking&talking till we reach lakeside hahaha! You better dont forget hor :D and remember we're suppose to go out together with stockings hahahaha! Aiyo there's so much I want to say but no way I'm gonna type it all down hahahaha! ^ V ^ but of cus i love you la ass :D

and erm erm erm
hmm hmm hmm
mm mm mm
ummmmmmmm

hahaha I love my hyvb,
although I have drifted from some now,
but sometimes, somethings will still remain unchange,
that's the passion and love we have towards one another

(=