I don't know if you still visit this space of mine, but if you just happen to see this, do you realise how long was the last time since we really talked?

I made effort, to ask you out, text you, call you, but either the replies I received are really curt, or there wasn't any replies at all.

You know you are being curt, I am sure. You know I don't like it, you know I mind very much. But why did you do that?

When I said bestfriends, I meant it all along, without any doubts. I was so happy when you told me I will be one of the friends you will bring along after secondary school. Because I know, I am one of the very very very few, who can hear that from you.

But.. look at what is happening now?

I feel sad, uncomfortable when my friends told me about the strong bonds between their bestfriends. Not because I don't have one, I do. But it's just, I'm tired being the one who is doing all the 'keep in contact' stuff.

I feel really sad, when we don't know what's going on in each other's life. I want to share with you, tell you all the shit which happened, how much school really drains me inside out..

But it feels like we could no longer relate and connect with one another as well as we used to. I don't know if it is because of the different schools we are in now, or the different environment and culture we're exposed to, or the different people we see and interact everyday. I could see the difference, how lively you are when you talked about your school with your school-mate.

And I could only laugh, and listen. Maybe, we are all different now.

I don't want to accept the fact that we are.

Many times in school, I think of the times when we used to be so close, how we slept through lessons, how time flies everyday. Sometimes I hope you will be in my school, and I'm sure I won't be labelled as 'emo'.

I don't care if I am not being understanding enough, clingy or desperate. Cause you know me. You know how much I value this.

I don't want to our friendship to drift. I really miss you.